How to Arrange a Funeral.

Someone you loved has died. What do you do now? How do you go about making all the necessary arrangements? This is a time to ask a relative, a friend or minister to help you. Don't be alone in your grief.

Step 1 - Decide on the Type of Ceremony.

Before making any arrangements decide whether a burial (interment) or cremation is what your loved one would have wanted. There may be some instructions that were written down, or perhaps they were able to discuss it before they passed. There may be a family burial plot in a local cemetery. Ask other relatives for guidance as needed if you are unsure.

Here are a few things you might want to discuss.

Should the ceremony be held at the deceased's home or at a local church?

Should there be a ceremony at the crematorium?

What about a graveside ceremony?

Where will family and friends gather afterward?

Most people opt for a religious funeral ceremony but other kinds are available.

Be careful to consider the world-view of the deceased and what would they have chosen.

Most churches do not require people to be members before the minister will conduct their funeral.

Step 2 - Contact the Person who will conduct the Ceremony.

The type of ceremony you wish to hold will determine who will conduct the ceremony.

If you are a member of a church, or other worshipping community contact your minister or priest.

Some aspects of the ceremony may have been decided by the deceased and explained in a will or testament. Did they have favorite hymns, songs or poetry? If no wishes were specified perhaps include something which personalizes the funeral. Try to think of the funeral as a celebration of the life of someone you have loved; who you still love. Bring something of their life and their special loves into the ceremony.

Here are a few suggestions:

• A eulogy (a short talk normally given by a family member or close friend recounting the deceased's life, outlook and ideals)
• Appropriate instrumental music before and after the ceremony itself
• An appropriate poem
• A soloist, duet, or trio
• A reading which accords with the deceased's outlook on life
• Something which was written or said by deceased in the past

Step 3 - Contact an Undertaker

You will find that a good undertaker will take care of many of the preparations for you. Remember to check on how much it will cost, and whether the undertaker can manage to assist with the funeral on the day you require.

The best way to choose an undertaker is to find one who has given good service to someone you know in the past.

Normally an undertaker will do the following for you:

• Place a notice in newspapers of your choice
• Book the crematorium, or make graveyard arrangements
• Arrange transport for the immediate family
• Arrange wreaths if desired
• Arrange catering for the wake if desired
• Contact a minister or priest if desired

Step 4 - Register the Death.

Before the funeral can take place, the death must be registered. The following papers may be requested.

• Birth certificate
• Marriage certificate (if the deceased was married when they died)
• Doctor's certificate of death
• Pension or benefit documents

Step 5 – Schedule the Wake (if desired)

Step 6 – Schedule the Funeral or Memorial

Step 7 – Make Plans for Afterward.

Time to Grieve

The funeral is not the end of your grieving. It is the start. 

Make sure that you have friends and family available to you in the weeks and months following the funeral.

Be aware that family events, anniversaries, and the anniversary of the death itself will be difficult times. Have friends and relatives available to you as needed.